Monday, October 20, 2008

Past Post Update: Fire Marshal

Last week I participated in my first fire drill since I was de-vested from the office Fire Safety Committee.

While I didn't take a beverage with me in the stairwell or refuse to leave my office to add minutes to the drill time, I folded my arms, pouted like a child and told employees tales of my days on the committee.

I wasn't completely bitter until we were returning back to our floor and the new office manager started to "show off" her vest in my face. She said "I see you looking at my vest - Isn't it hot?" That is when I began sobbing and retold the story of handing in my vest and hat (okay, I didn't really cry).

The new office manager was a bit shocked and asked if I would like to rejoin the committee. I told her that I would need to think about it. Just to prove I wasn't lying about this whole story, I forwarded her the e-mail from the past office manager asking that I return my vest - with no explanation!

New office manager contacted me and told me that she will do whatever it takes to get me back on the team. Therefore, I've drawn up a list of demands that I will have my agent send over. Please let me know if I am forgetting something.

In order to have Miss Brandi Bonkowski join your fire committee, she is requesting the following:
- One new lime green vest with bling
- Her title changed from "Fire Marshall" to "Fire Warden" and for this name to be added to her business cards
- An endless supply of purple G2 (Gatorade) on drill days
- An employee parking spot
- Full-year subscription and feature on Safety Magazine
- New Nike tennis shoes to improve drill time

Once my employer meets these demands, I will consider joining the committee again.

(photo from

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