Gold Medal Drunk

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

If there drinking were a sport, I would be a world class athlete.

A few weeks ago, reader Jason and I were discussing the Summer Olympics. I mentioned I was excited for gymnastics, synchronized swimming, diving and maybe basketball. He proceeded to disagree with my most sport selections, but he didn’t reveal what he is looking forward too (I will assume its badminton, ping pong and trampoline).

Regardless your sport, the Summer Olympics will consumer the majority of the media for the next several weeks. I can already predict the headlines – doping, US winning gold, close finishes, families that struggled so their kids could be athletes, etc.

If like me, you feel that 90 percent of the events are a bore, consider hosting your own Olympics. A Beer Olympics.

“We Like to Party” - Opening Ceremony
Foursome: Gather together four teams of four – two boys and two girls. If you have more people, add more members to the teams, but keep the guy to girl ratio even.
• Create house rules and post them around the drinking arena. Don’t forget specific rules for each game. This should minimize the amount of arguments! Consider awarding three points for first, two for second and one for third. Last place receives no points.
• Designate a referee to ensure someone doesn’t get too drunk. Have a ref pass out Olympic ring-colored Jell-o Shots to kick things off.
• For an added bonus, convince a friend to sing the national anthem. Set the mood with music about beer and drinking like “40 oz to Freedom” (Sublime), “One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer” (John Lee Hooker).

“It’s 5 O’Clock Somwhere,” – Timed EventsThree people from the team participate in timed events
Beer Bong: With a stop watch, calculate the time it takes a team representative to chug a beer
Chug & Run: One team member must chug a beer and then run a designated distance.
Pitcher Chug: For the best drinker on the team, the person who chugs a pitcher the fastest is crowned the winner

“I Get Knocked Down, But I Get Up Again,” – The GamesBeer Pong: While the Chinese always dominate the Ping Pong table, American’s excel at Beer Pong. Nominate two members of your team to
Keg Toss: Similar to the javelin or discus, test players agility to toss an empty keg. Make sure you are doing this event in a large yard or park.
Flip Cup: Test the team’s drinking and flipping skills with a mini-flip cup tourney.

If there is a tie, break it with a team waterfall.

“Closing Time,” - Closing Ceremony
It’s not a true Olympics without a podium and medal ceremony. Honor the winners in each sport and the winning team.

(sources:, wikipedia,, )